


Letters from Hayley Howell

by dannihowell (iguessicantry)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Hospitalization, M/M, stroke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 15:42:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7624402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iguessicantry/pseuds/dannihowell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of letters written from Hayley Howell to her father, Dan, while he’s sick in hospital.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 24 June 2031

Dear Daddy,

It’s my birthday. I’m eight years old and I’m tall enough to ride the roller coasters now. Remember when you said you would take me on all of them that one time? I do. And I remember how we ate funnel cakes until I got sick. I’m sorry about your shoes. I know how much you liked them. Papa says you forgave me a long time ago but I still want to say sorry.

I come to the hospital with Papa as much as I can. He doesn’t really like it when I do. I think it’s because he doesn’t want me to see him cry. He cries every time we visit. Sometimes he sniffles a little and other times its little tears running down his face. He tries to hide it from me but I can see the marks they leave behind. Sometimes I want to cry too. I miss you. You’re here but you’re not. You don’t talk anymore. I really want you to read to me and sing to me, Daddy. I even I miss hearing you shout at me when I’m naughty. You always yelled _Hayley Elizabeth Howell!_  and sometimes the neighbors would bang on the wall because you were too loud. I’m sorry I was so bad. I’m better now though. I wish you could see me now. You would be so proud of me.

Papa gave me my own video camera this morning. He said it was from you too. I’m going to make videos like you and Papa. Promise you’ll watch them one day?

Love,

Hayley-bear

P.S. Thank you for the present!


	2. 23 December 2031

Dear Daddy,

I wish you would open your eyes. I always liked that they were just like mine. Papa says that all the time. He says Hayley, you have those same perfect brown eyes. 

He misses you so much. He doesn’t yell at me when I do something bad like forget to do my homework. He doesn’t smile either.

I know what Papa wants for Christmas, Daddy. He wants you to open your eyes. He hasn’t seen them in so long. He doesn’t cry as much when we visit like he used to. He sits in the chair by your bed, holds your hand and reads to you. We eat dinner with you too. The nurses don’t mind at all and one of them gives me a lolli every Tuesday because that when she works. She’s really nice. 

Every night before we go, Papa kisses you on the forehead and whispers something that I can’t hear. Promise me that when you wake up, you’ll tell me what he said. Promise?

I’ll see you on Christmas after we visit Nana. I’ll bring biscuits and sing songs to you. Do you remember them? I’ll help you if you forget. Don’t worry.

Merry Christmas,

Hayley


	3. 14 May 2032

Daddy,

I don’t write that much anymore but I know it doesn’t matter because you don’t read these. But I like writing them because I miss talking to you. I remember how you used to tell me to be quiet on the way to school. It’s just that I have so much to say! I know you probably want to hear about school and the marks I’ve gotten but school is not going very good.

I do have good news though. The doctors say you’re getting better and that you might wake up soon. That’s really good. You’ve been here for a year now.

When you fell down that day, I thought you were going to die. I remember how you said your head hurt alot but you get headaches all the time. That was the worst one. They said you had a stroke. I looked it up on Papa’s computer. They’re caused by stress sometimes. Was it because I left all the cupboards open? I know how much you hate that. Is it because of the people who used to follow us around and take pictures? You always got so angry. 

People sometimes ask about you. My teachers want to know if you are okay and my friends ask me about the machine. I told them the machines keep you alive and they said I had a bionic dad, which is pretty cool. 

I miss when you were human though. I miss how you and Papa would hold my hands when we took our walks around the garden. It’s not the same with only one hand. I miss how you would kiss him when you thought I wasn’t looking. I miss the way he smiled at you.

We don’t make videos anymore, not since you came here. The last one was the one where we all made pancakes and I got to flip it. I caught it! Do you remember that? They were so yummy, Daddy. I promise to make some when you come home. Okay? I know you’re going to wake up soon. I know it!

Sincerely,

Hayley-bear


	4. 25 June 2032

Dear Daddy,

I turned nine yesterday but no one remembered. You’ve been gone for a week now. I woke up last Wednesday and heard Aunt Carrie singing in the kitchen. She said Papa had to go to the hospital and that she came to make sure I had breakfast and got off to school. But I never went to school that day. 

She took me to the hospital instead. I wanted to see you but when I got to your room, the bed was empty and made up. I asked where you were and they said you passed away, you had another stroke. 

There’s so many people at our house now. They all say such nice things about you, Daddy. They talk about how you made everyone laugh and how many people all over the world would miss you. I don’t think they could miss you anymore than I do and definitely not more than Papa does. Uncle PJ talked at your funeral this morning. He said a lot of nice things and people laughed at the funny bits. And Papa tried to say something too but he couldn’t. He was crying too much to get the words out.

I told him you would see him again one day, in heaven. I am sure of it. I hope it’s as nice as everyone says. Don’t forget us. We will never forget you.

Love,

Your Hayley-Bear

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr  
> [dannihowell](https://danni-howell.tumblr.com/)


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